I never told my parents about our IF. In fact, if Mom asked if we were thinking of having kids I always just changed the subject with an "um, I don't know, we haven't been married all that long. We're still enjoying being newlyweds." Yeah, that worked until you realize that we're both 35 this year, and we've been married for about 4 years. My mom, very surprisingly, has never pushed the subject. But... I've never felt comfortable confiding in her either.
But now, with adoption on the horizon, I really want to tell her. I sort of want to blindside her with it, so her first thought isn't that I'm about to announce a pregnancy. At the same time, I want to make telling her about our plans kind of special. So I'm looking for a little package I can put together with positive stuff about adoption included. I ran over to Borders & B&N to see if they happened to have anything appropriate, even a magazine or something. Yeah, right. Nada. So now I'm going to see about downloading some articles, maybe have a couple issues of different adoption magazines and maybe some other neat thing about grandparenthood or something. Let me know if you have any ideas!
Thanks for letting me know about the google reader problem. I'll have to have my husband look into it. He said he has noticed that too....i could have smacked him! Why didn't you tell me for petes sake!!!
ReplyDeleteI think it's great you are feeling ready to tell her. Do your DH's parents know?
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'm sure you have thought of this, but since you haven't felt comfortable telling her about your IF in the past, you should be prepared for people to ask Why adoption? A lot of people don't even think of it as something you just do, so if you don't want to talk about IF then maybe you and your DH could put together a list of reasons this is important to you, because I know there are many, and maybe that will help people from assuming you're only doing it because of IF. I hope that made sense. I just know that I have aunt that adopted a Russian baby and everyone assumed it was because she couldn't have her own instead of the fact that she just wanted to give that child a loving home.
Good luck!!
Hi M!! That is a good comment by Patty above I agree. Something else to think about right? I heard on sunday radio 2 weeks ago about a book that is about families and welcoming ceremonies for adoptive children. If I find the book I'll email you the link. It sounded very appropriate for this! I'm excited for you, AND your new blog :)
ReplyDeleteIn your box o'stuff for your mom, try to find a copy of Adoptive Families Magazine. It's a great (IMO) magazine that covers MANY types of adoption and has great articles.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with telling her and the process! I hope it's a short one for you. Also, try to anticipate the worst way she may react and hope for a much better one. It's a big deal kind of thing and there is SO much misinformation out there about adoption, so she may come up with some doozies, or she may be thrilled for you and say all the right things. It's best to prepare for the worst!
Again, good luck and let us know how it goes!
Lisa from the AT board.