Today DH & I went to our agency's required two day information session. This was the day
that we signed the contract, made our first payment, and had our first homestudy
interviews. I have been waiting for this day for months. I'm now in tears and am
just having a really bad day.
First, after during our short break, dh took me outside and started freaking out
about the finances. It was like he had forgotten everything that we had
discussed and wanted to know if we could pull out and wait until later to start
everything. There's a lot more to it than I can even get into right now, but
needless to say it shook me up & I had to use everything in my power not to
start crying right there.
What he wanted, basically, was to start the homestudy, but not pay for it... He
wanted to just pay part and have them not take the rest until he knew for sure
he has a job in the fall (he's a teacher). Now, the likelihood of him not having
a job is about 1% (he says 10%), AND we had already talked about it and decided
to take the "risk." So now we're sitting out of their office having a terribly
intense conversation & I just can't believe that he's waited until this very
moment to bring all of this up.
I tell him I think we'll be fine, that we're doing all of this now because he
has the time, it's been planned for months, so lets just complete it. OK, no
problem. We did bring it up with the coordinator, and she gave us a little more
time to discuss amongst ourselves & we went ahead and signed the paper work.
Then there's the issue of the coordinator that's been assigned to us. We don't
like her. She seems very efficient, but not warm and we just didn't get a good
feeling from her. We showed her some of the pieces of our profile that we had worked on. She said she wouldn't approve what we showed her, but I know we adhered to all the
guidelines. I actually think it was great,but at the same time I don't want to question her authority. I just wonder if we had the other coordinator if we'd be happier. I think I need
someone with a little more handholding, but I don't think we can change, plus it may
just be our own jitters that's causing the problems.
I'm sorry part one of your homestudy did not go as planned. It is so difficult when you think you have everything covered and then somehow everything changes. Wishing the best of luck with this process and hope that this is the only difficult day that you two have. I am so happy that you are beginning the process and I hope you will have fond memories of it in the end.
ReplyDeleteHang in there!
Riquesha
It's such a life-changing process; I suppose your DH just got a moment of panic. I hope you'll feel more comfortable with your coordinator. I'm crossing my fingers for the rest of your journey to be smoother!
ReplyDelete-sophie
It sounds like you DH had a typical man freak-out... they all go through them! Hopefully it will be the last one and also that your coordinator warms up a bit!
ReplyDeleteI would imagine that condensing that much of the homestudy into two days, while efficient, could also be overwhelming. And I could easily see it turning an already emotional process into an emotional process, complete with freakout! I'm sure that things will calm down and once DH has a chance to digest everything it will all be fine. I hope your coordinator gets a bit easier to deal with too! I'm so excited that you're moving forward with the process and look forward to seeing more updates!
ReplyDeleteI made it over here finally! :) I really hope for you guys that your coordinator gets better to deal with. So much of the process, for me anyway, required so much handholding and so much calming of fears, and I think it's important for coordinators, social workers, whatever to be empathetic.
ReplyDeleteI'm so excited for you guys! :)
And...can I add your new blog to my blogroll? I want to keep up!
Ditto Brakes and Gas!! Think about you M!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. My DH did that, too - when we went to that seminar and finances came up, he about flipped right there and then, completely forgetting what I had told him and what he had read.
ReplyDeleteIf you do not feel comfortable with your coordinator, change it! There's already so much stress and uncertainty in this process, you need to know that *this* front is secure.
(((((HUGS))))
Allie